Introduction
“…instead the Lord your God turned the curse into a blessing for you, because the Lord your God loved you.” Deuteronomy 23:5
Feeling unloved or unwanted is a common struggle in our world. Increasing rates of suicide, divorce, and substance abuse prove it. And while many varying factors can foster the belief that we are unloved, we will see that the primary origin of this lie is our own hearts.
To a world that turned away from God to look for love in all the wrong places, God came in a human body. He came because He so loved the world (John 3:16). He came to demonstrate His love through a Sacrifice.
In the Person of Jesus Christ, God loved you and gave Himself for you (Galatians 2:20). This sacrifice was so bold and so powerful that through it God saved the world, and at the same time, through that same sacrifice, God loved our hearts and taught us how to live. “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters” (1 John 3:16).
People have been longing for love and acceptance since the beginning of time. But this is not only due to poor parenting, abuse, or abandonment from our past; it is primarily due to hearts damaged by sin, which can only be healed by our Savior.
Illustration
In Genesis 2 and 3, we read that God created Adam and Eve to enjoy a loving relationship with Himself and with each other. But when sin entered the world, there was a dark shift.
Notice Adam’s behavior after his sin, “And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” (Genesis 3:8-12).
Before sin, Adam and Eve happily met with God in loving fellowship, but after sin, they hid from God out of fear and shame. Instead of cherishing his God-given helper, sin motivated Adam to distance himself from Eve and cast blame on her. Adam’s sin affected him so much that he became actively opposed to his wife. Adam said to God, “The woman…she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Adam blamed Eve for his own failure. Adam did not say, “my wife, my loving wife,” but rather, “this woman.” Sin divides the most united hearts and ruins the most blessed unions.
Sin distorted and confused Adam. Before sin, Adam believed that he was loved and wanted by God and by Eve, but after his encounter with sin, Adam felt differently. He no longer felt acceptable as he was; he thought he needed to do something to “cover” himself. He hid from God and pushed away Eve. Love was displaced by fear.
Friend, sin does this to us too. We have all sinned, and so, we all go through times where we feel unloved, unwanted, unacceptable. But there is a remedy for our wounded hearts and minds, and it is the same remedy that God presented to Adam thousands of years ago.
“And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them.” Genesis 3:21
God never stopped loving or wanting Adam and Eve, but their sin was a barrier in their relationships. Adam and Eve could not remove the barrier, so God did. God made a sacrifice on Adam and Eve’s behalf so that they could be clothed. The covering of the sacrifice restored their fellowship with God and each other. It restored love in their hearts and their union together.
That first sacrifice by God pointed forward to the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus would make on the cross to demonstrate His eternal love for us (1 John 4:10). The cross is where we see that we are fully and forever loved 1 John 4:16)!
Friend, you are loved! Because of Jesus’ death on the cross, if you put your faith in Him, you can say, “I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness,” (Isaiah 61:10).
Application
When your heart is heavy and weighed down with thoughts that you are unloved, look to the cross of Christ and see that God loves you so much that He sacrificed His own Son to demonstrate His love for you (Romans 5:8). Speak to your heart of the immeasurable love of God that spared nothing to save you and from which nothing can separate you (Romans 8:32-38). As you look to the cross, you can say with Paul that Jesus “loved me and gave Himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).
If other people reject you or make you feel unloved, remember Jesus who endured the rejection of all, even His own Father, so that you might always be accepted (Psalm 27:10, Isaiah 53:3, Luke 9:22, Mark 15:34, Romans 15:7). Your value is not determined by another person but by Christ who died on a terrible cross, rose again, and now intercedes for you.
Other humans will disappoint, hurt, forget, and fail you, but God never will (Isaiah 49:15). He has proven His love for you; you are in His forever family—loved and wanted (Romans 5:8, 1 John 3:1).
If you ever feel unloved or unwanted, look at the cross, and see Jesus taking your curse and turning it into a blessing for you (Galatians 3:13-14), because He loves you. “…instead the Lord your God turned the curse into a blessing for you, because the Lord your God loved you.” Deuteronomy 23:5
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13
Question: How does the cross of Christ demonstrate that you are deeply and forever loved and wanted?
Jen writes, “NO ONE will ever love me like Jesus! He gave His life, suffering beyond what I can even think ALL because He loves me! That is security that nothing or no one else can offer me! I don’t need the love of any others but because of Christ’s love in me, I can love those around me!!!”
Wendy writes, “Jesus loves ME!! HALLELUJAH!! The cross of Christ shows that I am deeply loved and wanted. Who would do just a thing as freely die a cruel death, if there wasn’t a great love for the ones He did it for? And there are so many verses that say it so beautifully that He did it out of love for us! This is so very amazing!! I am deeply loved by God! He accepts me! He really wants me! I want to daily look to the cross and be reminded of His great love for me! Though people may forsake me, God is always there to love me deeply!”
Kim writes, “It is overwhelming to think about what Jesus has done and is doing for me. He left heaven to come live a life of poverty and to be disrespected, rejected, falsely accused & murdered so that I could have fellowship with Him, and that is radical love. And this radical love changes me to be like Him as I endure some relationships and enjoy others! All the love I need is in Christ Jesus. I do not need the love of others, but have the love I need from Christ to love others well.”
Mike L. writes, “It’s mind-boggling to think that even though I was His enemy Jesus chose my life over His own, His love, grace, and mercy toward me are unfathomable and life-changing. Jesus’ love toward me is what changed me, and what saved me from eternal damnation, I can barely think of this without tears of joy running down my face. Lord Jesus, I love you so much, thank you for showing me how much you love me, may I spend the rest of my time here on earth showing You how much I love you. You make me feel like the most precious thing in the world, blessed be the King of Kings!”
Reprinted by permission from the Looking to Jesus study at www.settingcaptivesfree.com. SCF exists to help men and women find freedom in Christ through the gospel.