Introduction
“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.” James 4:1-2
Conflict of some kind is ever-present in our lives. Global, civil, political, and environmental disagreements confront us daily. In our communities, disputes abound regarding education, growth and development, and social concerns. Church history is replete with quarrels over issues like baptism, salvation, and eschatology. In our homes, discord is frequent between siblings, parents and children, spouses, or roommates. Conflict is inescapable because it resides even in our own minds; we argue with ourselves regularly.
When arguments arise, we all have a default position. Some of us get aggressive, we step up to the challenge, and we don’t back down. We argue passionately, and often win the battle, but lose the war. Others of us try to avoid conflict at all costs. We remain silent and suppress our feelings. We would rather forfeit and retreat than prolong the discomfort of the disagreement. And some of us will vacillate between aggression and passivity, depending on the topic at hand.
We are so familiar with conflict that it is easy to disconnect it from our faith in Jesus Christ. We might reason, “Sure, I believe in Jesus. I love God’s amazing grace, but what’s that got to do with politics, my irritating neighbor, or my child who is challenging me on everything?”
But the truth is that conflict of any kind is meant to be an excellent backdrop for the diamond of the gospel. We must look to Jesus, especially when disagreements arise because it is through Him that true peace and reconciliation can be achieved.
Christ’s death and resurrection to save us is the great unifier for believers. Jesus’ finished work on the cross allows us to interact with each other in humility because we know we were all born equally sinners in need of a Savior (Philippians 2:3-10). Looking to Jesus first, when conflict arises, gives us the eternal perspective we need to respond to one another in love (1 Timothy 1:5) and to be a light to our world (Matthew 5:14, John 13:35).
On the other hand, when we engage in arguments but ignore the cross of Christ (1 Corinthians 1:18), we miss the opportunity for grace to abound to us and those around us (Romans 5:20). When we attempt to navigate conflict according to our own understanding, we deny the power of the cross and set ourselves up for destruction (Proverbs 3:5-6, Galatians 5:15).
“For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.” Colossians 1:19-20
In Colossians 1:20, we learn that Christ’s shed blood on the cross is what brought peace between God and man. Now we must “continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel” and trust that if the cross of Christ can bring peace to the eternal conflict between God and us, then it will also bring peace in our temporary conflicts with one another.
“For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.” Ephesians 2:14-16
Illustration
“I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment. For it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers.” 1 Corinthians 1:10-11
In the Corinthian church, there was quarreling and division. People were at odds over who they thought was the best teacher, who they should follow, whose gifts were more significant, etc.
When it came to addressing this division and quarreling, Paul does something beautiful and productive: he runs right to the cross of Jesus! He gets their attention and redirects them to Christ and His death on the cross so that they might be humbled. As their vision is captured by the cross, they remember that they are loved, and when they look to Jesus they will be able to “agree” and have “no divisions.”
Now notice how Paul guides the Corinthians to the cross of Christ. He asks some rhetorical questions and makes a definitive statement:
Rhetorical questions: “Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you?” (1 Corinthians 1:13). If Christ was not divided, neither should His body be, and the way to avoid it is by the quarreling parties coming to the cross together. When Paul asks, “Was Paul crucified for you?” he is asking them to remember and consider Jesus’ death on the cross, which unifies them (John 17:22-23), teaching them to follow Jesus, who died for them.
Definitive statement: “For I decided that while I was with you I would forget everything except Jesus Christ, the one who was crucified” (1 Corinthians 2:2).
Here Paul is driving home the main theme of Scripture, Jesus Christ, and Him crucified. He was teaching the Corinthians that everything including their disagreements were to be subject to the gospel.
Application
Are you embroiled in conflict today? Are you trying to manage your situation based on your own understanding and frustrated because resolution seems to evade you at every turn? Look to Jesus!
The shed blood of Jesus on the cross is the power of God for reconciliation. As believers, we are to be “looking to Jesus,” in all things (Hebrews 12:2) including conflict.
Jesus set his face determinedly toward Jerusalem, to the great battle of Calvary, where He would rescue us from our most significant conflict, eternal separation from God caused by the rebellion of our sin against Him. He will not abandon us to our own devices now.
As believers, reconciled to God through Jesus’ death and resurrection for us, we want to follow Him, empowered by His Spirit, controlled by His love, to navigate conflict in the shadow of His cross, looking past the discomfort of our disagreements to the hope of a joyful reconciliation.
When conflict comes, look to Jesus first! Before you tweet about your political preferences or get on your soapbox about some community issue, look to the cross and ask, “Does what I am about to say communicate gospel love?”
When your neighbor is irritating you, look to Jesus! At the foot of His cross, look up and see the crown of thorns on Jesus’ head, His nail-pierced hands and feet, and, in light of the love of Jesus and the forgiveness you have generously received, think of a way to bless your neighbor.
When your child challenges your authority, don’t get into a screaming match as the world does. Instead, look to Jesus! See Him dying for you while you were still rebellious, and then in light of the great kindness that Jesus has shown you, let your kindness lead your child to repentance (Romans 2:4). Assure your child that they are loved and gently guide them in grace to Jesus.
Let us not live according to the flesh by trying to ignore or living to incite conflict, but instead, let us look to the cross of Christ and remember that His blood brings peace. And in those times, when peace between you and another is not possible, look to Jesus and release your angst to Him. Let His peace rule in your heart and be thankful (1 Corinthians 6:7, Colossians 3:15).
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Romans 12:18
Question: How does looking to Jesus and His cross put to death hostility and conflict in your life?
Sophia writes, “If Christ’s cross was enough to resolve the conflict between God and man, it can resolve the conflict between man and man! I must look to the cross in times of conflict and see that: – we are all equally sinners that Christ came to save (Phil 2:3-10) – Jesus himself is our peace (Eph 2:14-16) because he has unified us (I Cor 1:10-11) – we are to respond to each other in love and be lights in the world – we are commanded to let Christ’s peace rule in our hearts and be thankful! (Col 3:15)”
Wendy writes, “Jesus’ death on the cross solved all sin problems forever. If we truly believe that Jesus’ death removed all separation from God; and that His resurrection power now lives in us; then we too have amazing powers of healing; gentleness; meekness; love; forbearance; forgiveness; and self-control. God tells us over and over in His word that we are now indwelt by the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit gives us the power to exercise these spiritual fruits and gifts. Jesus forgave his torturers while they were torturing Him. I can forgive my parents and family and friends because I know that any separation or conflict between any of us is due to the misunderstanding caused by sin. Sin is temporary but the power of God given to us by Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection is eternal and much more powerful than sin. God will heal every sin and every misunderstanding. I will forgive and pray for my family instead of harboring resentment against them. Jesus has healed my mind and soul and is removing all roots of bitterness and wrath. Hallelujah! I am being set free!“
Jen writes, “I must remember that God loves him just as He loves me. If nothing else, I am to love Him because God does. I am COMMANDED to live peaceably with ALL men. How can I say that the love of God is in me if I am not willing to swallow my pride and seek to live at peace with him. Again, Jesus’ death already paid for our sins on the cross and I need to live as though I believe it and am grateful for it!!”
Mike L. writes, “As I look upon the sacrifice of Jesus and see the priced He paid for me, the greatest honor I could ever give back is to become like Him. The prize at the end of the race is to be conformed to the likeness of Christ, this is what I seek, this will be my reward. There is no better way to do this than seeing the humility of the sinless Lamb on the cross, taking on His attitudes, His love, His mercy, His forgiveness, and His grace. Thinking about all these things truly puts hostility and conflict to death in my heart, how could I treat others this way when I look at the cross. Jesus reconciled me to the Father and when I look to Him, He reconciles me to those I conflict with. It’s simply amazing how turning my eyes to Jesus has changed me, what a Beautiful Savior we have, thank you Lord Jesus for Your amazing love to each of us, we love you so much! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2tKVqZZiI4
Reprinted by permission from the Looking to Jesus study at www.settingcaptivesfree.com. SCF exists to help men and women find freedom in Christ through the gospel.