Introduction
“He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” Isaiah 53:3
Rejection is a universal experience that comes in many different ways. We might experience emotional or physical rejection from a parent, spouse, friend, or child. Or perhaps we don’t get accepted to the school, the group, or the place of employment that we want. Or maybe our love is spurned or goes unrequited. We can be rejected based on our faith, our beliefs, our appearance, and even for reasons that have nothing to do with us.
Suicide, school shootings, and violence in the wake of broken relationships are evidence of the deep emotions that rejection elicits. Even the threat of rejection is enough to provoke anger and aggression in some.
Some of us experience more rejection than others, but we all face it on some level, and it hurts. Rejection can wound us and create painful memories, which can affect the way we see ourselves and our circumstances and can create barriers in our relationships with others, including God.
The good news is that there is hope for those who look to Jesus and put their faith in Him. Jesus died on the cross to bring healing to our hearts for our own rejection of God in preference for sin, as well as to heal the wounds that a lifetime of rejections left on our hearts.
Jesus came into our world and experienced every rejection possible. He knows our pain intimately and so He can address it like no one else can. Look to the cross of Christ and see.
Jesus was despised by His own, rejected by those He came to save. As He hung on the cross, all our sins, sorrows, and griefs were laid on Him so much so that He was no longer recognizable as a human (Isaiah 52:14). He became utterly disfigured by our sin, and at that moment, by eternal agreement, God the Father rejected and forsook His own beloved Son so that you, dear friend, would be received and accepted for all time.
Illustration
In Matthew 26 and John 12, we can read the account of Mary of Bethany, the sister of Martha and Lazarus, who understood the message of the cross, that she, though sinful, was forgiven, loved, and accepted by God, through the upcoming death of Jesus. So she took a bottle of costly ointment and broke it, pouring out the contents on Jesus in preparation for His burial. But not everyone appreciated Mary or her sacrifice.
“When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. ‘Why this waste?’ they asked. ‘This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor’” (Matthew 26:8-9 NIV).
These disciples didn’t yet understand Jesus’ mission, so they rejected Mary and scorned her offering and expression of love for Jesus. But Jesus, who was rejected repeatedly by man and who was facing the cross and rejection by God, rushed to Mary’s defense:
Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her” (Matthew 26:10-13 NIV).
Like Mary, we will face rejection in this life, but we can look to Jesus when rejected, and be confident that He will be with us through it all. He sees us, He remembers us and He comes to our defense when we are rejected.
Application
Have you been rejected? Is your heart hurting because of it? Jesus sees, He knows, and He cares. He was rejected for you and now lives to defend you. He came to bind up the brokenhearted and receive the rejected.
Remind yourself that you are chosen by God and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12)! In love, God sent Jesus to this world to die in your place to set you free from sin, to clothe you in righteousness, to restore your relationship with God. He has removed the curse of rejection from you and replaced it with full acceptance (Galatians 3:13, Romans 14:3, Ephesians 1:5-7).
You are loved with an everlasting love and no one can separate you from it (Romans 8:38-39) and out of the abundance of love and acceptance that you have in Jesus, you can seek to overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21).
Are you suffering from a recent rejection or a painful one in your past? Come to Jesus and fellowship with Him in His sufferings. Your pain and rejection give you unique insight into the sufferings that Jesus endured to set you free. Embrace your Savior and allow your pain to push you into a deeper relationship with Him (Philippians 3:10).
Has your spouse or friend betrayed you? Are your adult children ignoring your counsel and treating you with disdain? Are your co-workers excluding you or talking about you in an unkind way? Are people in your community or church hurting you by their actions or words? Look to Jesus and follow His lead.
“For to this, you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds, you have been healed.” 1 Peter 2:21-24
Go out of your way to bless those who reject you (Romans 12:14). Do good to them. Pray for them (Matthew 5:44). You don’t know but what your sacrifice of love and kindness might be what God uses to draw your offender out of the darkness and into the light of His love (1 Corinthians 7:16).
Remember, too, that God ordained the rejection of Jesus for a marvelous purpose – the saving and sanctification and transformation of many lives. Our sufferings have a higher purpose also, and God has provided Christ and His cross as the means by which we can endure and not grow weary in doing what is right (Hebrews 12:3).
Jesus said to them, “Have you never read in the Scriptures: “‘The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone; this was the Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes’? Matthew 21:42
Question: How does looking to the cross of Christ enable you to show love and kindness to those who have rejected and hurt you?
Cheryle writes, “Jesus said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” People hurt us, but in their eyes, they do not see the extent of what they do as they are not operating in a Godly way. Jesus forgave, so I must forgive them and pray for them and bless them that through my witness of the mercy and kindness of the Lord they might be drawn closer to Him.“
Mike L. writes, “I know what it is like to be rejected, it hurts tremendously, but when I see the rejection that Jesus suffered on the cross, from the very people He came to save, knowing that I was one of the people who rejected Him, yet He still chose to suffer on the cross for me. Seeing others through Jesus’ eyes the compassion He had toward the ones who crucified Him, the humility He had, how could I not offer that same love and humility towards others. It truly helps to see their brokenness, realizing we are living in a fallen world full of selfish people of which I was one. How many did I reject (including Jesus) I can only imagine how many others I have hurt in my life. Lord Jesus thank you for Your unmerited love, mercy and grace toward me, thank for Your amazing example of love, help me Lord today to loves others as much as You have loved me!“
Jen writes, “My rejection allows me to have a better understanding of Jesus’ suffering of the ultimate rejection. If He can suffer that out of His love for me, I can show love to others even those who reject me.“
Joe writes, “It puts me in a place of seeing how accepted and welcomed I am in Christ because He took my curse, my guilt, my shame, and my rejection (all of which I deserved) for me and died for me. Jesus rose so that I can live with Him in newness of life. I can now love others who reject me. In essence, I don’t need their acceptance. This isn’t a prideful thing, but a humble realization that I have been set free from reliance on human acceptance by my undeserved, but unconditional acceptance in the Beloved! To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. Ephesians 1:6“
Reprinted by permission from the Looking to Jesus study at www.settingcaptivesfree.com. SCF exists to help men and women find freedom in Christ through the gospel.